Monday, May 26, 2008

Catch Phrase

Phrases I love that no one uses:


-Man boo please!
Used as:
"Are you wearing that tonight?"
"Man boo please! It's hot!"

-Shooo... (pronounced "shoe")
Used as:
"Shooo..., this bar sucks!"

-Oh my-lanta!
I think this is from a movie, but this is how I use it:
"Oh my-lanta! I am running soooooo late!"

"Man boo please" is my favorite.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Did you know...

Did you know that there are "suspected" crack deals going on at 8:30 in the morning? Seriously! I had to get gas at the Shell across from my apartment this morning. The crack guys were there! Seriously! Jersey guy handed a very ROUGH looking lady a Sephora bag that was all ratty and folded over. Yellow was there too! He walked by me and stared. A really really long time. Uh oh. I decided taking a picture of Jersey and the lady wouldn't be a good idea since they now A) recognize me B) know where I live C) now know what I drive.

Note to self: Learn to be more discrete when spying on crack dealers.

If you don't know who Jersey and Yellow are, read "Your Momma Smoke Crack Rock!"

I'll try to take a pic tonight from my balcony.

UPDATE: Stalking crack dealers is not a good idea. Last night, Amy and I saw the bicycle that the crack dealers ride propped up next to the dumpster area at the gas station. We pulled in to take a picture of it and as we're trying to take the pic, Yellow comes out of the dumpster!!! Shit. Drove away. Fast. Tires squealing. As if that wasn't enough, I try to take pics from my balcony and see the shiznit go down. Here's kinda the timeline:

11:45ish - Yellow takes trash to the dumpster. Boring.
Midnight - Close the Shell.
A little after midnight - Yellow let's in a sketchy looking individual into the CLOSED Shell.
A little after that - Sketch guy still in the Shell, Yellow goes back to the dumpster and comes out with a big duffel bag. He gets on the bike and rides off. They seriously keep their crack in a dumpster!!!
12:30ish - Sketchy leaves the Shell.
Today- Totally considering calling the cops.

Oh yeh, all the pics were blurry bc I couldn't use the flash.

Summer In The City

This is a similar post to yesterday's, "Hot Child In The City." Starting on Monday, the Dallas Symphony Orchestra will be hosting a week long series of concerts at city parks. Of course Monday will have patriotic theme to celebrate Memorial Day.

Monday is Memorial Day and most of us get a day off from work to play and be carefree because many Americans have given their lives for our country. It doesn't matter what your political views are, the fact is we have many amazing men and women fighting a war and living under the constant fear they may not come home. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE support these amazing men and women. And for my best friend Scott, Hoo-Wah!

All events are free although the Arboretum event requires a ticket to be "free." Not sure how that works, but you can call to get more info, 214-692-0203. Grab some friends and a picnic to enjoy a chill evening at the symphony! Honestly, a little culture won't kill you.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Hot Child In The City!

The weather is feeling great and it's time to head outside! Every Thursday, starting tomorrow night, the Dallas Museum of Art hosts "Jazz Under The Stars". Starting at 8:00pm, they have jazz music on the lawn off Ross Ave. You can bring blankets or lawn chairs to sit on, and snacks with your favorite beverage. Personally I will have chips and guacamole with some damn fine red wine. That's just me. The events are free to the public and they do sell food and drinks there.

Take the girls, drag a lov-ah, fido or whoever, and be jazzy downtown!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Today's "Ha ha!"


Here's the latest and greatest sign! It seriously cracks me up that a business would put up these funny sayings. It certainly does make my drive home on Irving Blvd more entertaining!

Friday, May 16, 2008

It's Friday, It's Friday, It's Friday...

It's Friday, It's Friday, It's Friday, La - Lalalalalalalalala!

I'll spare you the following 10 verses of Mrs. Buckner's Jr. High Choir song, but it is Friday and I have no clue what's going on this weekend. I sorry kids! I'm leaving Big D, very briefly, to go home and see the parentals.

However, I will give you a tease for next week... There is a new "phrase" on the infamous sign. Post pics next week. Have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Ka-Ka-Ka-Katy

Katy Trail that is. (I've never seen the movie "The Way We Were.")

If you need some exercise or are a fan of Katy Trail, come out tonight for the Michelob Ultra 10 5K. Proceeds benefit the Friends of Katy Trail. Their big project right now is lighting Katy Trail. Honestly peeps, lets get some lights on that thing. I bet it's freaking scary in the dark!

I'm volunteering tomorrow since can't run,I'm fat, and can't donate moola because I'm broke. Tee hee! If you wanna join me and get a sexy volunteer t-shirt, email Betsy Edmond betsy@katytraildallas.org. She'll give ya the details. Or if you just wanna show up and help, go to the registration tent at Riverchon Park.

So you get your groove on, Ka-Ka-Ka-Katy!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Jen Lancaster Turns Me Into a Blubbering Idiot



She was here! She was here! She was here!

I met her and she's as fabulous as she is in her books and blog! Most of you know she is my girl crush/girl soul mate... She totally lives up to that! I cannot thank my seester enough for giving me her first book!

Here's tonight, in a nutshell (I'll post pics tomorrow...)
  • I am not even close to being her only fan in Dallas. There were TONS! of people there for her reading/signing. AWESOME!

  • My friend Amy went with me. The event started at 7; we got tired of waiting and went to the bar next door to wait about 8:30 (Jen looked/commented at me when we left because I dropped my phone on the escalator); I got my book signed a little after 10; just like I'd hoped and prayed, I was the last in line so we could have a fabulous conversation and she could fall in love with me and we'd be instant bffs. (Poor thing, had been smiling, signing, answering questions and posing for pictures for 2 hours!)

  • She complimented my SHOES!!! MOST AMAZING MOMENT EVER!!! EVER!!! EVER!!!

  • I was a complete blubbering idiot. Note to self: don't tell favorite author she is your girl soul mate/crush. Awkward silence follows.

If you haven't yet, take a look at her blog and 3 books. I can't imagine you'd ever read anything more honest/funny in your life! Plus, we're neighbor stalking soul mates. Yeh, and I told her!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Sick, Sick, Sick!

This post isn't about a Dallas specific place, but there are several in the Dallas area. Care Now. Care Now is a Doc-In-A-Box that is totally legit. I remember the doc-in-boxes from childhood ear infections. I'd get an ear-ache on Saturday night and my mom or dad would take me to one of these places instead of the emergency room. Luckily they have improved in the last 15 years, and are rather awesome.

Care Now has several locations in the Dallas metroplex. Unfortunately, you will have to travel outside the 635 loop to get to one. Trust me, it's worth it! The North Dallas location has treated me for everything from Mono to severe sinus infections. Most recently, this weekend they helped me with a rather unpleasant infection and I will not share those details with you.

What makes them awesome, you ask? You go online, select a location and after you enter your insurance info, you're checked in. They will call you in about 20 minutes to verify your web check-in, and when your room is ready they call you. Trust me, it is so much more "fun" to wait at home than in a doctor's office with screaming children. **Warning, it may take between an hour - 2 hours for them to be ready, but at least you're not waiting there for that long.

They write your prescriptions and send you on your way. The next day they even call you to see how you're feeling! Seriously, when was the last time the doctor's office even called to remind you about an appointment.

They really do "Care. Now."

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Stars At Night, Are Big And Bright...

Deep In The Heart Of Dallas!

No, I am not continuing singing from the Rangers game, but I am referring to our fabulous hockey team, Dallas Stars. (The only Dallas team to make it past the first round of playoffs.)

If you are not lucky enough to have Stars tickets for Monday night's crucial game, you can still watch someplace other than a bar... Victory Park Plaza! I'll be there with some friends, with our lawn chairs, hanging out and watching the game. You can bring chairs and watch the game on the HUGE screen outside American Airlines. It's totally free! You can't bring food or booze, but they do have vendors there.

Here's my plan: Take the DART rail to AA Center. Park my butt outside in this fabulous weather. Maybe buy a snack and enjoy the game!

Go Stars!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

She's Coming, She's Coming, She's Coming!!!

OMG!!!! I'm about to pee my pants! It is less than a week away when Jen Lancaster will be in Dallas on her book tour! She is sarcastic, hilarious, and isn't afraid to tell it like it is. I truly feel she is my girl crush soulmate and we have almost everything in common. (She too stalks her neighbors as I do. Please see previous crack rock - Shell post.)

Her 3rd memoir came out yesterday, Such A Pretty Little Fat. Any pearl wearing, popped-collar strutting prissy has got to come see her! (Guys, you'll love her too because she is bitchy and so straight forward.) So, here's the details: yeh, here they are. Please, please, please go see her. You will definitely be entertained and weightloss has never been so damn funny!

Ever since my sister introduced me to her first book, shortly after I was unemployed for a few months, I have loved her books and blog. Come out and support her and all she has worked for. And have a few glasses of wine and some laughs. Seriously, that's always a good time!

You're Momma Smoke Crack Rock!

Well, whether she does, or she doesn't, I know where she can get some! There is a Shell across the street from my a-p-t, and the dumpster is the most happening spot on the block. Guy A, "Jersey," and guy B, "Yellow," are constantly coming and going out of the dumpster. I've seen this go on before and tonight I had to show my friend Amy. Last weekend I told Amy about the crack deals going on and she didn't believe me.

True to form on a Wednesday, Amy and I get together to drink wine. We're sitting on my patio, which happens to overlook the Shell parking lot/dumpster. Suddenly Amy screams, "OMG! They're dealing drugs!" Most-hilarious-thing-ever!

Literally these guys walk in and out of the dumpster at least 10 times. Amy and I decide to take a close look. Decked out in full disguises, including ball caps and sunglasses, we go to the Shell and take a look. Yeh, nothing, but it was still hilarious, 2 white girls wearing pearl earrings trying to catch crack drug dealers in action. Ha! Still amusing to watch...

"You're Momma smoke crack rock!"

Monday, May 5, 2008

HAhahahahahahahaha


Let... me... try... to... breath.... ahahahahahahahhahahahahhaha! I saw the FUNNIEST billboard EVER, on my way home. Funniest. Ever.

"Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Must... pick... self... up... off... the... floor... Seriously. I'm taking a picture tomorrow and posting it. HAhahahahahahahahaha!!!

Seriously Ladies

So not such a fun topic today, but still very important. Cancer is a not-fun and scary topic for anyone. Unfortunately, as women, we are specifically faced with cervical cancer (as if the others weren't enough to worry about.) Take a look at One4OnePledge. I saw this on Daily Candy - Dallas today and feel it is a VERY important issue.

Basically, you pledge to talk to your doctor about cervical cancer - potential causes, how to prevent it, etc. I know talking about this issue isn't fun, but seriously, it's better than battling cancer. When you make your pledge, you'll be helping raise money for organizations that educate the public about this horrible disease. 1. Go to One4OnePledge. 2. Put your name and email address. 3. Select which orgs you wanna Merck to give the $5.

Do yourself some good. Seriously!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Time-Out

Yet again, another dive bar: The Time Out Tavern. By the looks of this place, my initial thoughts were don't touch anything and don't sit on the toilet seat. When a place has tennis shoes hanging from the ceiling and the Time magazine OJ "Murder" cover as decorations, you know it's gotta be good. Around 11:30 a guy walks through selling bbq sandwiches. Time Out Tavern is located on Lover's just past Inwood. The exact address is 5101 W Lovers LnDallas, TX 75209. They are open from 11AM-2AM.

I'm keeping this one in the book of options for when there's nothing to do and everything else seems boring. And the toilet is safe to sit on, ladies!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Mai, Oh Mai!

If you're looking for good Vietnamese food, Mai is the place to go! It is a hole in the wall close to downtown, that is amazing. The food is authentic, it has a low-key atmosphere and the prices won't blow you away either.

Don't be scared when you walk in the door, like I said, it's a hole in the wall. Come as a single, a couple, or with a group of friends; there's a place for everyone. If you do come alone, don't worry, there are plenty of magazines to enjoy with your meal. (They may be from the 80's, but it never hurts to reminisce!)

Mai is located at 4812 Bryan St # 100Dallas, TX 75204 (the corner of Fitzhugh and Bryan, east of Hwy 75.) If you want to call in a to-go order, the number is 214-826-9887. Great Vietnamese food is not "Pho-Pho" (pronounced 'fa') away.